Oh the Wretchedness of Being Me

After my 2-in-1 rant I thought about starting a whole new blog at www.soapbox.blogspot.com but somebody already has that one and I didn't feel like taking 3-12 hours trying to find a clever title that was both available and likely. So I'll stick with ranting on my family blog. By the way, have you ever noticed that all the really good domain names are not only always taken, but are not even being used? That's a rant for another day, I suppose.

Anyway, today's whine er... rant:

I drink Arrowhead bottled water. I like the taste (or lack thereof). But about a year ago they changed their bottles: They made the plastic thinner (I imagine they did it in some scheme to appear more green). Now I can't open one without squeezing the bottle too tight, forcing water up and out under the cap! I've tried gripping the very base - no joy; I've tried gripping around the neck where physics ensures the the narrowness of the neck will not permit the plastic to squeeze - but no, my hands are too big, the neck too small, and there is not even a phantom of leverage to speak of.

Ok, so a little water dribbling down the side of the bottle is not a big deal. However, water also gets trapped under the plastic ring (that seals the cap before it is first opened). Trapped, that is, until I take a swig. At that point, the water dribbles down my chin and onto my shirt, making me look like the latest victim of novelty-cup wit.

Who designs these things? Who approves them? Who quality-tests them? and is it wrong to want to beat them all with a wet fish?

I've taken to buying the larger bottles that have the blueish flip-top lid. I started buying them because then I didn't have to worry about the spillage, but quickly discovered that the water passing through the lid (which is made of some different plastic than the rest of the bottle) picks up a plasticky flavor that is, shall we say, less than savory. So I started unscrewing the whole cap. And you know what? These bottles are still made with the heavier/denser/thicker plastic that the other bottles used to be made out of. Now I buy them because I can unscrew the cap without fear of squirting water all over my keyboard at home or at work. Joyous day!