The Evoloution of Tard Into Man

This may come as a shock to most of you, but I have not always been the congenial, adorable, wonderful guy you all know and love. I used to be a shy, awkward, goofy (looks and behavior) kid who had a hard time making friends, and a harder time keeping them. When I did make and keep friends, it was more of a testament to them and their congenial wonderfulness than to anything I may have said or done.

That said, I was never entirely convinced I was ever going to meet a girl who would be able to stand being around me long enough or consistently enough that she’d ever be able to love me enough to marry me. On my mission I learned a lot about interpersonal relationships and learned to modify my behavior around human beings so that I became less awkward and more “normal”(ish), which is one of the many blessings I received as a missionary.

I started dating not long after I got home from my mission, and even had long-ish-term relationships that I thought would eventually lead somewhere eternal. I was 21 when I had my first kiss. That relationship didn’t last (5 months). I was 23 when I had my second. Also didn’t last (1 week, give or take). I was 27 when I had my third kiss. That relationship lasted off-and-on for the better part of 18 months, and was a very positive time in my life for growing and understanding how boys and girls interact emotionally and spiritually. After that break-up, I was much more confident and capable when it came to dating, and though I did get into one more extended-but-failed relationship, I was finally ready to meet that special someone who wouldn’t have to put up with a complete tard in order for us to work out.

Let me make a clarification: 1^st kiss vs. 2^nd kiss = I did kiss each of these girls more than once. The so-called “second kiss” is a way of stating it was the second girl I’d kissed… not that it makes much difference when there were 2+ years between them.

When I was almost 30 years old, I met Tammy. I was 30 before we went on our first date. I immediately felt a connection with her that was different from anything else I had ever experienced. Within 3 or 4 dates, I had a sneaking suspicion that I was going to marry her. That thought frightened me for a number of reasons:

• I had often felt that way about girls I'd dated before
• I barely knewy her or anything about her
• I wasn't in love with her, or even sure how deep my crush on her was
• I didn't know how she felt about me
• We hadn't even kissed yet
• I still had a huge crush on the last girl I'd been seeing

And yet, something about this girl had convinced me that I was going to marry her.

I found out later that she had felt the same thing about me, and she had been just as frightened for many of the same reasons (though I really don’t think she had a crush on the last girl I’d been seeing).

I started this blog because I was going to relate a completely different story, but that story needed some background. Thus the blog evolved into a story about meeting Tammy and, as is the apparent custom at this time of year, I find myself expressing gratitude for her and for the Lord who guided me along my path, through my awkward years and led me to meet people who gave me opportunities for growth and self-discovery so that I would be ready to meet Tammy (who was just about to graduate college when I met her) just as she became available. If I had been ready any sooner, she would have been too young or away at school, and we would possibly have never met.

My wife is way too good for me, and yet she’s just exactly right for me. I love her and am grateful for her extremely undeserved patience with me. She keeps me grounded and, frustrating as that is for me sometimes, this keeps me happy over all.

One final observation: I am on good or better terms with every girl I ever dated. This helps support my belief that meeting them, even dating them, was the will of God. And strengthens my gratitude to him and to them.

I’ll most likely write the post I originally intended within the next day or so, but if not: Happy Thanksgiving!