Scripture Mastery

Okay, so the ward Primary Program is this Sunday - for those who read this and are not LDS or not familiar with what a Primary Program is, let me explain:

Every year the ward (church group) puts on a program during the portion of Sunday meetings where the entire congregation is gathered together (as opposed to being in various Sunday School classes). The program consists of the Primary (children between the ages of 3 and 12) singing, giving talks, and reading scriptures to the congregation.

Last year, Cordelia was given the opportunity to participate by reading the first Article of Faith (13 articles provided by Joseph Smith to the editor of a newspaper to explain in concise terms what the LDS people believe).

The First Article is: We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.

At 3 years of age, obviously she couldn't read it, and rather than having somebody standing over her shoulder, telling her what to say, Tammy came up with the idea of actually helping Cordelia memorize it.

Which she did.  We were very proud!

This year, they've given her a bit more.  They gave her the assignment two weeks ago [Mosiah 3:5]. She's still learning the basics of reading, so we set out to help her memorize this one, too.

We think she's ready.

To Shave or Not To Shave

I was recently surprised to learn that there are still people, reasonably educated people, who still believe that shaving causes hair to grow back thicker, fuller, faster.

Adult people who have gone to college, even.

Despite there being a singular lack of logic to this belief.

Let's examine:

• If shaving caused hair to grow in thicker, balding men (and women) would be wise to shave their heads to encourage thicker re-growth.

- Personal Observation: I've been shaving my head fairly regularly for close to 10 years now, and each time I let it grow back for more than a few weeks, I note that my hair, if anything, is actually thinner than it was the last time.

• Assuming hair growth (or loss) is determined by genetics, then in what way does shaving cause a change to one's genetic make-up?
• Assuming hair growth (or loss) is determined by diet, environment, or other non-genetic factors, how would shaving alter those non-genetic factors?

- Personal Observation: I've been shaving my face fairly regularly for about 20 years. Every time I let my beard grow for more than a week, it becomes painfully obvious that I am no closer to dressing up as Grizzly Adams or playing Santa Claus this year than I was last year.

Ultimately, I have determined that there are some reasons why people are inclined to believe in the false assertion that shaving affects the rate or fullness of hair-growth. And a quick Google-search of "Does shaving cause hair to grow?" vindicated my thoughts.

• A strand of hair is thicker in the middle than it is at the [natural] end. Therefore, when you cut it, you go from having naturally thin end, to having a thicker end - giving the illusion of increased thickness
• Additionally, making a comparison of a single hair to, say, a blade of grass or a length of rope, it is possible to see a characteristic shared between them. When they are short, they have a relative stiffness when compared to longer versions. This makes stubble rough and un-bending, which could be interpreted as being thicker or fuller... though it's not.

I have also developed my own considered theory as to how this particular myth was born, and why we continue to perpetuate it.

Boys
The parents of boys will almost uniformly encounter the embarrassing time when their pubescent child will decide that it's time to grow a moustache.  This time will most likely come sometime between the ages of 10 and 14.

The parents of said adolescent will try to find some innocuous way to hint to their peach-fuzzy offspring that it isn't really time to grow it out.  This could come in the form of a razor in a stocking at Christmas, or an elaborately wrapped birthday present.  A way of stating "You are becoming a man! Here is a manly gift, a razor!  If you shave, you are a man!"

This works pretty well.  I know how jealous I was when my older brother got an electric shaverr at Christmas... I was sure I needed one, too.  I totally would have started shaving.

This may not work if the fuzzy-faced pre-teen would rather demonstrate his manliness with actual hair, rather than with a shaver that stays in the bathroom, undisplayed to the world at large (aka all the girls at school).

Thus the LIE: "It's kind of peach-fuzzy right now, but if you shave it, it will grow in thicker and thicker.  You'll just have to shave it once or twice a week (or month) and before you know it, you'll have a nice full beard!"

Girls
The parents (probably the fathers more than the mothers), in an effort to keep their girls young and innocent, forever children, never ever ever to become interested in, or the interest of, boys... at least until they are 30, use a similar tactic to forestall leg-shaving.

The LIE: "You know if you start shaving your legs now, the hair will just grow in thicker and fuller and faster.  You should just leave it alone for now."

Summary
Boys want hair, so wr tell them to shave it.
Girls don't want hair, so we tell them to let it grow.
Parents are awesome.

Let's Make A Dill...

or If You Don't Say Stupid Things, I Wont Mock You

How sad that Corporate America's marketing department is so in touch with the Utah marketplace that they have chosen to reinforce our horrifyingly ignernt accent. An accent which comic geniuses have been openly mocking for years and possibly (sadly) without true diehard Utahns even realizing it.




This kind of rhyme should be scoffed at heartily.  Here are a couple of cringers I just made up (to illustrate):

KFC: 
Where the Colonel Trod,
The chickens were Fried (frod)

H&R Block:
Need help with your Taxes?
Just come in and ask us! (axe us)


BTW, this picture was taken at Target.

9 Months In the Making

Okay okay okay, so I've been a terrible blogger for a while.  Well, you know what? It's hard to blog when you have big news that you don't want to spill the beans on... I mean, big news is big news, right? so if you're going to blog, you want to share the big news.

But we wanted to keep our big news a secret until we knew what gender our big news was going to be... And as we waited and I stopped blogging, it got easier and easier not to blog anything at all, even after we knew that Cordelia was going to be getting a baby sister.  And so even that announcement, which should have been a much more involved blog, turned out to be nothing more than a simple video clip of Cordelia breaking the big story.

So, now that I've gotten that off my chest, let me go ahead and spill the rest of the beans.

Just over a week ago, at 11:17 PM Saturday September 3, 2011, Cordelia's baby sister arrived on the scene.

Weighing in at 7 lbs, 2 oz, Sorella Celeste Casper was 20 inches tall, and almost an identical match for her big sister's birth size and weight.

Catching everybody up on this pregnancy:

• Tammy was 2 months along before we even knew she was pregnant. It took 4 different pregnancy tests and a lot of nausea to finally figure this one out.  We were becoming concerned that there might have been other issues, when the PTs kept coming back negative.
• This pregnancy was, in some ways, easier for Tammy than with Cordelia, and in some ways more difficult - all in all, it may have been sixes.
• The 26 hour delivery of Cordelia - who was induced 18 days early - was almost certainly more difficult, overall, than the 4-5 hour delivery of Sorella, though it was not without it's own complications.

Sorella was due September 5th, my brother Shän's birthday. On Saturday, the 3rd, Shän and his family were having a barbequeue to celebrate his birthday, as well as Labor Day (which also fell on the 5th).  We were invited to come over to celebrate with them - baby-issues notwithstanding. 

I dragged Tammy to the store, to get her on her feet and get her some exercise, and maybe even get that baby to fall out - as she'd been hoping for an early delivery, and because the baby had been seeming to try and get out any way she could for weeks.

After shopping, Tammy lay down on the bed and told me she felt tired and weird.  Weird, huh? That made me uncomfortable. But I let her take a nap for an hour or so, then I made her get ready to go to Shän's house.

She didn't want to go. A number of reasons why not: She's allergic to cats. Shän has 2 (and my dad has one more stashed away in the basement). She's 9 months pregnant and was feeling "weird". She's tired and her feet are swollen.  These are very valid concerns.

My perspective: She feels weird, I'm not leaving my weird-feeling, 9-months-pregnant wife home without a car, while I'm 20 miles away.

As we were discussing whether or not she was going to come with or stay at home, she started having contractions. No big deal, really, as she'd been having contractions off and on for weeks, more often in the recent few days.

It became a big deal when she kept interrupting the conversation to breathe. Okay... once in a while, it's normal... several times in the same conversation? This was new.

I got on the Android App Store and downloaded an awesomely convenient app: Contraction Timer

And we started timing frequency and duration as we drove to my brother's house.  Right from the start they were lasting about 30 seconds, and coming every 4 minutes. 3 minutes 50 seconds, 3:30, etc.

She didn't eat anything at the barbequeue (we got there about 5, the contractions had started around 4). She let me and Cordelia eat, though, which was nice.  As my dad was loading up my plate, it was about 5:45, she told me to call the hospital and let them know we were on our way.

I think, at this point, Tammy was still not sure this was the real thing, but we went anyway.  On the way there, her contractions were so frequent and so strong, that she was barely able to catch her breath between one and another. I was sure this was it... but she still had her doubts.

It wasn't until she was admitted and the nurse who walked us to the L&D room said, "You don't have the look of somebody we're going to send home," that Tammy finally accepted that, yes, this was - indeed - it.

The labor was intense. The baby's heart rate was unusually high, 180bpm, and they wanted it down to 160bpm, or they were going to do a C/Section.  Fortunately, the doctors and nurses were all very competent and took all the steps necessary to avoid a surgical delivery, if possible, and within a few minutes, the baby's heart-rate came down.  It took some oxygen for Tammy, and the breaking of the water by a doctor, but it worked.

The on-call OB wasn't Tammy's regular doctor, but was very sweet and friendly. Dr. Luewen. She was busy that night. Babies were popping out one after another.  When they finally decided it was about time to start pushing, they chased down the doctor, who was presently delivering a baby, and who then had to attend to a minor emergency with another delivery.  So the nurse who had been with us the whole time said, "Let's do some practice pushes while we wait for the doctor."

The contraction came, the nurse said, "Let's get three good pushes on this contraction."

Tammy pushed once, the nurse said, "Okay, stop pushing." She looked at me with a big grin and said, "This baby's ready... we had better wait for the doctor!"

Once Dr. Luewen made it into the room, Sorella was born between the first contraction and the second. Tammy got her three pushes in, and the baby was out far enough that they didn't even bother waiting for the next contraction.

Naming the baby... that is a whole other story that could go on for days.  Suffice it to say, we had her named  before we left the hospital.  Here is a brief list of the names we'd been throwing around for months:

• Avarilla
• Adelaide
• Hazel
• Isabel
• Arabella
• Lavina
• Celeste
• Leona

And finally, for the main event - Here are some pictures:

 

PS - She had jaundice pretty bad, and she didn't have a wet diaper for almost 2 days, so they were monitoring her fairly closely.  Then, just as they were about to catheterize her, she peed. Thank heavens.

They let her come home with us, and our pediatrician ordered us a BiliBlanket (a nifty little in-home phototherapy device for babies with jaundice). One day's worth of treatment and her bilirubin levels were way down. Two day's worth, and she was perfectly healthy.

I'll cut the cord on this post now. Thanks for patiently waiting!

Quick Video Update - Starring Cordelia

Cyclical Musings

The other day I was musing on several topics, and the one that held my mind most firmly was "cycle."  Yes, the word.  Cycle.  What a bizarre word. Say it a few times. Cycle, cycle, cycle.  Rhymes with psycho. Sort of.

Or does it?

Monthy, a cycle spins the moon.
Spinning, a cycle strains your clothes.

Add a seat and sit on a uni-cycle.
Keep the seat, add an engine, double the wheels, and you've got a motor-cycle.

But what if you lose the engine? What if you add another wheel?
You end up with a bi-cycle and a tri-cycle.

What a fickle cycle the cycle is!

Speaking of cycles, what on earth is an icecycle? Right, it's not.  It's an icicle.  A what? Why icicle? There's another strange one. It's not an icesickle. Not an icescythe. It's simply an icicle.  Why not some form of "-actite"?

And Popsicle? What the heck? I think there is an obvious correlation between popsicle and icicle... but why an "s"?  and more importantly, why "pop"?  Was the first popsicle made of soda-pop?  And why is there a correlation between icicle and popsicle? It doesn't make any sense, on the surface. I suppose I used to break icicles off and suck on them... but I was a stupid kid. Whoever invented the popsicle had to have been smarter than me.  Though he may have been selling to people as dumb.

The answers to these questions evaded me during my reverie.  Thank goodness for the interwebz.

I have done some research since I mused these musings, and should anybody ever care: icicle comes from ye Olde English and German for "cold piece of ice." More or less.

Popsicle is a trademarked name, presumably from the combination of Lolly Pop and Icicle.


Still not 100% sure about why unicycle, motorcycle, and cycle in general use the long i whereas bi- and tri- versions go with the short i.  Since language is fluid, and morphs over time based on the usage of those who speak, I can only go with the explanation that English speakers don't like to have two long i sounds in quick succession.

With the exception of aye-aye.  And bye-bye. And twighlight.

Ah heck... there is no satisfying explanation.  Stupid English.


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Quick Video

Not much to say, just wanted to let you know we're still alive.  And here's a short video: