Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Wanted: Good Pie Crust Recipe - Instructions for Dummies a Must!

Ok, some of you may recall earlier posts where I discuss the making of pumpkin pie.  I have even posted my pie recipe about a year ago.  Something I've been struggling with, however, is the making of a really good pie crust to go along with the pumpkin pie.

I've explored various pie crust options that I've found online, and they are all pretty much variations on a theme:

3:2:1 ratios of flour : fat : water - give or take.

Without fail they require me to freeze the butter (I'm only interested in butter-based crusts because I don't care for transfats... I've been avoiding them  since before it became chic, you know, back when they were simply called "hydrogenated oils").  After I freeze the butter, I'm supposed to mix it all up in a food processor.  Great, if I had a food processor that actually worked.  I don't.  But I do have a lovely pastry blender that works fine.  I blend and blend and add bit by bit of water until the butter is the size of peas, and the dough just clumps together.  Yay.  So far it sounds perfect.

Then they tell me, "Wrap in plastic wrap and put it in the fridge for 30 minutes-overnight."

Seriously?  Overnight?  30 minutes I can do.  Usually I can even wait a couple of hours.  So I wait as long as I can, generally 2-3 hours.

Without fail, however, the dough will not stick to itself as I try rolling it out.  It's obviously not watered enough, even though I followed the instructions exactly, and it matched the description I was given in the recipe I was following.  So I end up having to add water.  That leads to an awful mess, dough that ends up over-kneaded, and ultimately, sub-par flavor.

I'm *this* close [picture forefinger about to touch thumb] to calling it quits on the home-made pie-crust ideal, and start buying Pillsbury. Please, somebody, save me from the fate of buying ready-made, industrial-strength pie crusts!

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Children vs. Markers

No matter how well-behaved your child, it is inevitable that if you leave them alone with access to pens or markers, you will at some point have to ask yourself this question:

"Is it okay to use alcohol on small-people?"


Or maybe you'll remember other kids, not you, of course (maybe you) eating crayons as a child.


These pictures are all fairly old.  She hasn't colored on herself in a while (like 3 days), but I keep hearing about how all these well-behaved kids keep doing stuff like this.  Most recently, my niece Madison.

This is for you Patti.  We feel your pain.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Driving Responsibly - A Request

Ok, everybody knows the rules.  Everybody knows they should do this, not do that, etc.  So I'm not going to say anything about the safe/legal responsibilities.  Rather, I'm going to make a single, simple request to try and remember that there is one time and place above all others where you need to be paying very close attention.

Stopped at a light in position #1.

When you are at the front of the line, you have a sacred responsibility to everybody behind you to pay attention to the light.

If you're in position 2, 3, or further back, you can get away with paying just enough attention to notice if the car in front of you is moving.  But if you find yourself in the honored front of the line position, then you are saddled with added responsibility.  A trust. A duty.

This duty becomes even more important in construction zones and at left-turn arrows where traffic becomes backed up and the length of time you have to make it through the intersection is extremely precious.  When both of these added factors combine, you are at the pinnacle of driving responsibility.  You hold the fates of many in your hands.

Becoming distracted in such a situation can mean the difference between 1 car or 5 getting through the light.  And if you're so far out of it that you don't notice the light has changed until it's yellow again, you are not only asking for a hefty helping of angry honking, but you might also be in for a negligence-induced beating.

Of course, I'm not condoning vigilante justice, or even violence as a means to solve issues of road-rage.  But I am making a desperate plea for all responsible people everywhere to please take this duty seriously.  If you were unable to make it through the green/yellow/orangish light, then you have taken a great yoke upon your shoulders.  They yoke of responsibly watching for the next green.

An otherwise furious follower will thank you.