The Evoloution of Tard Into Man

This may come as a shock to most of you, but I have not always been the congenial, adorable, wonderful guy you all know and love. I used to be a shy, awkward, goofy (looks and behavior) kid who had a hard time making friends, and a harder time keeping them. When I did make and keep friends, it was more of a testament to them and their congenial wonderfulness than to anything I may have said or done.

That said, I was never entirely convinced I was ever going to meet a girl who would be able to stand being around me long enough or consistently enough that she’d ever be able to love me enough to marry me. On my mission I learned a lot about interpersonal relationships and learned to modify my behavior around human beings so that I became less awkward and more “normal”(ish), which is one of the many blessings I received as a missionary.

I started dating not long after I got home from my mission, and even had long-ish-term relationships that I thought would eventually lead somewhere eternal. I was 21 when I had my first kiss. That relationship didn’t last (5 months). I was 23 when I had my second. Also didn’t last (1 week, give or take). I was 27 when I had my third kiss. That relationship lasted off-and-on for the better part of 18 months, and was a very positive time in my life for growing and understanding how boys and girls interact emotionally and spiritually. After that break-up, I was much more confident and capable when it came to dating, and though I did get into one more extended-but-failed relationship, I was finally ready to meet that special someone who wouldn’t have to put up with a complete tard in order for us to work out.

Let me make a clarification: 1^st kiss vs. 2^nd kiss = I did kiss each of these girls more than once. The so-called “second kiss” is a way of stating it was the second girl I’d kissed… not that it makes much difference when there were 2+ years between them.

When I was almost 30 years old, I met Tammy. I was 30 before we went on our first date. I immediately felt a connection with her that was different from anything else I had ever experienced. Within 3 or 4 dates, I had a sneaking suspicion that I was going to marry her. That thought frightened me for a number of reasons:

• I had often felt that way about girls I'd dated before
• I barely knewy her or anything about her
• I wasn't in love with her, or even sure how deep my crush on her was
• I didn't know how she felt about me
• We hadn't even kissed yet
• I still had a huge crush on the last girl I'd been seeing

And yet, something about this girl had convinced me that I was going to marry her.

I found out later that she had felt the same thing about me, and she had been just as frightened for many of the same reasons (though I really don’t think she had a crush on the last girl I’d been seeing).

I started this blog because I was going to relate a completely different story, but that story needed some background. Thus the blog evolved into a story about meeting Tammy and, as is the apparent custom at this time of year, I find myself expressing gratitude for her and for the Lord who guided me along my path, through my awkward years and led me to meet people who gave me opportunities for growth and self-discovery so that I would be ready to meet Tammy (who was just about to graduate college when I met her) just as she became available. If I had been ready any sooner, she would have been too young or away at school, and we would possibly have never met.

My wife is way too good for me, and yet she’s just exactly right for me. I love her and am grateful for her extremely undeserved patience with me. She keeps me grounded and, frustrating as that is for me sometimes, this keeps me happy over all.

One final observation: I am on good or better terms with every girl I ever dated. This helps support my belief that meeting them, even dating them, was the will of God. And strengthens my gratitude to him and to them.

I’ll most likely write the post I originally intended within the next day or so, but if not: Happy Thanksgiving!

Customer Service - Shouldn't It Extend to Job Applicants?

For a little over a year, now, I’ve been casually looking for a new, better-paying, better-benefits-offering, better-hours-giving job. Due to some very specific circumstances that job search has become less-casual and more frantic over the past month.

Tammy has also been on the prowl for better employment for a little over a year.

During this period of job-hunting we’ve made some observations that I want to share: Potential employers don’t care. The people handling applications need to receive some training from the company Public Relations and/or Marketing Departments.

Here’s what they are forgetting: As a prospective employee, I am also a potential customer. This doesn’t mean you have to hire me, it doesn’t mean you even have to interview me. But in today’s hi-tech world of online job applications, it does mean that you, as a business, should at least have the customer-friendly courtesy to provide a minimal response to applicants. An automated email stating “Thank you for your application, it will be reviewed within [a given amount of time], at which point we will contact you. If we feel that your application meets our needs, and if the position is still open at that time, we will schedule an interview.”

And then, once the application has been processed, if they aren’t interested it is not a difficult process to set up an automated email that says nothing more than: “Thank you for your interest in [such and such a position] with our company. Unfortunately, we are unable to schedule you for an interview at this time due to the position having already been filled, your qualifications are not exactly what we are looking for, or due to unforeseen circumstances, we are no longer able to fill the position as expected.”

Of course, this last option would need to be written better, but it could say basically the same thing. Maybe tack on a “We apologize for the form letter, however we hope you can imagine the necessity as we receive hundreds of applications every month, and to keep our costs low for our customers, we need to stream-line our services wherever possible.” And yes, this is probably not the best wording for the apology, either, but you get the point.

Having applied for dozens of jobs over the past 12-18 months, I believe that between the two of us, Tammy and I have received exactly four responses from potential employers letting us know that they were not interested. In Tammy’s case, she even had interviews (sometimes multiple interviews with the same employer) where the employer didn’t bother following up, in the end, to let her know they decided to go with somebody else.

In her case, as a math teacher, she’s not really a potential customer, since few (if any) of her applications were within our school district; however, in my case, all of my applications have been to businesses that I could potentially patronize. With very limited exceptions, I do have choices as to whether or not to use their services. Example: I’ve applied for jobs at Comcast, Dish Network, and DirecTV. Two of them responded to my applications. One of the responses was better than the other. Now, if we ever decide to get more than broadcast TV, I know which one of these companies will be my first choice, which will be my second. And that I’m least likely to consider Comcast.

< /soapbox >

The Parents' Dictionary - First Entry

Help - ful [help - fuhl]:

adj.

1. When children, having the best of intentions, behave in a manner that is both cute and obstructive.

While I was raking the leaves, my daughter helpfully picked leaves which had not yet fallen from the tree, in order to add them to the pile I was making.